I think the title of this post pretty much sums up my boys right now. They are learning some pretty harsh lessons that I would rather them learn now rather then later. They are not happy about this at all. You see I am tired of them mouthing off to me and not listening to anything I say. I am over Colin being sloppy on his homework just because he doesn't want to do it, and I am tired of Kiale being down right rude and hateful to me on a near constant basis. Colin has no excuse when I ask him about it, he knows I am right, but Kiale has one HUGE excuse that I am not going to put up with anymore. His excuse? "Because Daddy is gone." Well guess what, I get that and I understand that yes it sucks that Daddy had to leave for a year, but you know what... get over it. Every single time he does anything wrong or steps out of line he throws that excuse in my face. I will not put up with this behavior for the next year, "because Daddy left." It just isn't going to happen, all this does is show them that if they can give me a good enough excuse they can get away with anything. They were wrong. Take tonight for example, we decided yesterday that we were going to do dinner and a movie tonight. We finished homework and I told the boys to clean their rooms, that they did, but here is where it went downhill. I told Kiale to read 2 chapters from his book. He didn't do it. It wasn't until 30min later that I asked him if I needed to quiz him that he told me he couldn't find his book. This being the book he showed me 30min earlier.... he said he hid it from Cayleigh-Grace and now he couldn't find it, but amazingly enough with the threat of bed without dinner he found it right away. Isn't it funny how that happens? After finding the book it spiraled into the whole why do I have to read, I hate reading argument. I do not know how to get him to enjoy reading the way I do. Anyways, after lots of yelling at me I told him he was not allowed to watch the movie tonight. Then Colin shoved Cayleigh-Grace while she was standing on the stairs so he also lost his movie privilege tonight. I think I went back on threats too many times throughout the years and now they just don't care about my threats anymore. Now I get the lovely task of making them (Kiale in particular) respect me again. Which basically means that they hate life right now because I am following through on every single threat and punishment I make at them. Hopefully they get the point pretty soon... and if not, I just hope we are able to find a balance again. I miss balance.
6 comments:
Ohhhh that is a tough, tough lesson for the boys. I wonder what would happen if you didn't make dinner one night because dad was gone and you didn't feel like it. o.O I could only imagine the looks on their faces.
As for the reading... I wonder if you let him pick out a book or two on his own to read, after his homework is done of course. That's how my mom suckered me into loving reading ;)
You're doing the right thing. I know its hard but it will pay off in the long-run.
I'm sorry to hear that C. I was worried about the line from Day 1. Good luck with that, I'll pray for you!
It's so hard when we have to parent by ourselves and then add in the stress of everything. I am going to be there soon myself and not looking forward to it.
I know it is hard. Especially the first few weeks after daddy leaves. Very hard.
You are doing the right thing. You have to be consistent and follow through. Hang in there.
Stick to your guns momma. You're doing great. It's so easy just to give in "because daddy's gone." They feel it too, and you feel bad that they feel it - so you overcompensate and give in....and that's the worst thing you can do.
But you're doing great.
One thing we do when hubby is gone is create the "Naughty List." Every time Nani (and now both of the girls) would disobey, it went on the naughty list and would get emailed to daddy. Now realistically, hubby didn't have time to read and respond to every naughty list - but just the thought of knowing that daddy knew what was happening too was enough to cut down on the bad behavior.
Hugs!!
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