Be Proud.

This is for the young women that are waking up at 6 a.m. every morning with small precious children that they have been left alone to care for. This is for the pregnant Military wife wondering if her husband will make it home in time to watch their miracle happen. This is for the childless Military wife, living in a town or on a base alone where she is a complete stranger to her surroundings. This is for the women that feel like a third leg when they go out with their friends and their husbands. This is for the Military wife that cancelled all her plans to wait by the phone, and even though the phone broke up and cut off every time you spoke to him you waited anyway. This is a pledge to the women that cry themselves to sleep in an empty bed. This is to recognize the woman that felt like she was dying inside when he said he had to go, but smiled for him anyway. This is for those of you that are faithfully in that long line at the post office once a month handling 2 large boxes and 2 small children like a pro. This is for that woman that decided to remodel the house to pass time, and then realized that she had no idea what she was doing and sighed and wished she had a little help. This is for all the lonely nights, all the one-person dinners, and all of the wondering thoughts because you haven't heard from him in days. A toast to you for falling apart, and putting yourselves back together. Because a pay check isn't enough, a body pillow in your bed is no consolation, and a web cam can never compare. This is for all of you no matter how easy or hard this was for you. Our military men are brave, they are heroes, but so are we. So the next time someone tells you that they would never marry a Military guy, don't bother explaining to them that you can't control who you fall in love with. Just think of this and nod your head, know that you are the stronger woman. Hold your heads up high, hang that flag in your front yard, stick 100 magnets on your car, and then give yourself a pat on the back. Be proud to be the woman that you are, be proud to be a MILITARY WIFE ♥

It's not goodbye, it's see you soon.

This is my story, of my life and feelings leading up to deployment #2, not only is this deployment #2 it is also the second time in this year that we have had to say "see you soon.."  The second time we have faced the D word... 2011 will be known for deployments in my family, both for goodbyes and hellos.  

Sept 21st- Here we are once again looking down the barrel of another deployment. By the time he leaves again he will have only been home 5.5 months.... These past 5.5 months have been a blessing and blessing that could have and should have been so so much shorter. If it hadn't of been for his back issues we would have said "see you soon" again months ago instead of in a few weeks. Is it so wrong to be thankful for something that causes my husband pain day in and day out? If it is then I am a terrible person, but that pain kept him from being sent to a place we would never want him to go, a place where each day would be spent in worry and fear.... A place that I pray for day in and day out for the ones who went.

Yesterday I was feeling the weight of this deployment. I was feeling the sadness and heaviness that comes from knowing we will have to watch him leave again in such a short amount of time and for such a longer amount of time this go round. In so many ways for me deployments are a weight I have to bare until his boots are on the ground and I am in his arms again. I literally carry it with me day in and day out. Homecomings are in many ways hard to describe if you are looking to express what you feel within. When KS came home in April I had no clue how heavy the pack was I was carrying but seeing him again lifted all of that. I was able to stand up straight, to breathe again... I could literally feel the difference within my body... the stress just lifts and seems to evaporate into the wind, but now the pack is back. I can feel it filling itself up with each passing day. I can feel the weight of it settling into my back and on my shoulders.... I can feel it settling in for the long haul. Some days pass and I can barely feel it it is just a paper that blows in the wind, one that I feel rustle along my back and other days... other days it feels as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, but this is how it goes. This is deployment. Some days you breeze through the day and its okay you think to yourself "I've got this no big deal..." and other days if feels as if you can barely function in this world... I am not looking forward to getting back into this cycle and while I am already starting to feel it it is nothing compared to while he is away...

Why, hello there.

It has been so long since I have graced this blog with my often infrequent ramblings that I actually had to go dig out the little piece of paper that has my password on it for this account. I couldn't even remember it... now whether that is a good thing or a bad thing I don't know. I know my family would say bad because I have been neglecting this blog and there for neglecting their updates for my family... my family and my sanity on the other hand my be saying THANK YOU, you needed the break. Plus writers block is an extremely sucky thing, it is like a sore that grows and grows until you cant even form words in your brain when you are staring at the laptop with your "New Post" open and it remains blank... and stays that way for months it seems. Oh well... it happens to the best of us.

Life around here is getting hectic again, as it does every September. You see we have celebrated two birthdays this month. Didn't know that did you? Well, our precious Cayleigh-Grace turned 3 on the 3rd, her golden birthday, and our first born turned 8.... today! Happy birthday Kiale!! School is in full swing around here and has been for a month now. I can say with great enthusiasm that it is going MUCH better then last year. Thank God for that!! Kiale is doing great. The first 2 weeks were rough but it has been smooth sailing since then. Coin is doing excellent and his teacher is wanting to have him tested for gifted because it is just too easy for him. The poor boy comes home telling me how bored he is in class on an almost daily basis, thankfully he has a amazing teacher who is going to start giving him extra work that is at an advanced level to try and keep his interest.

We have added something new to our schedules this month, Cub Scouts. The boys are finally old enough to join in the fun and they are loving it. Some nights it seems like added homework for KS and I but it is all worth it. Now if I would just get around to getting their patches sew on they would be really happy with me. ;-) They are starting popcorn sales this month so all family and friends out there please help support my two Cub Scouts, I will be sending emails today or tomorrow with the website where you can order popcorn. (hint, hint) A percentage of their sales goes to their troop and helps keep costs down for patches, dues, activites etc.

Army life... well sometimes I don't even know where to begin on that subject. Today marks a year since we arrived at this post. In so many ways the time has literally flown by. We have got a new house, been through a deployment, finished one school year and started another, and celebrated many birthdays already. Many people ask me what I feel about our current post and after being here a year I can honestly say that I am indifferent to it. I don't see anything bad about it but there is nothing great about it either. I am thankful for the lack of negative things here. It makes being here easier. We are close-ish to home and there are so many outdoor things to do around here it makes it very enjoyable. We are a pretty active family who enjoys hiking and out door activities and they are plentiful around here. The biggest thing that has happened recently was that KS was promoted. Yay, go KS!! Other then that it has just been life as usual.