Hitting the books...

Well, KS and I are both college students once again.  It's only been 11 years for him and 7 years for me since we last attended.  It's a ton of work but we are both glad to be finally going back and bettering ourselves. We should both be graduating with our AA's in spring. After that I will be applying to nursing school and he will have a couple more maths to finish before he can apply to engineering school.  All in all we have several super busy years ahead of us. Throw in the kids school, sports, church, and your everyday family life into the mix and maybe when all is said and done he and I will not only have degrees but maybe, just maybe, we will have retained our sanity as well.

A Day in the Life of 5... or 6?

First off let me say that no I am not pregnant. That is kind of impossible with the hubs currently deployed but I won't lie. It has crossed my mind many times and KS and I have had "the talk" over and over these past few months he has been deployed. It seems to be something that comes up on a near weekly basis. CG is three and a half now and this is the longest stretch I have ever had where I wasn't pregnant between kids. By the time C was three in a half CG was already here and was mere 12 days old. Baby fever comes and goes with me, it hit the hardest when KS was first gone and it lasted about a month and a half. It was rough. There were tears and moments of just feeling lost. Having babies is not a decision KS and I takes lightly. K was our surprise baby, we found out we were pregnant with him February of my senior year in high school, and yes I was on birth control. C was planned although many in my family still believe he was another surprise. We did plan him and we were blessed to get pregnant right when we were hoping to, when K was just nine months old. We wanted them close together; to have a buddy and someone to always lean on.  When C was around 15 months old we started talking about having another baby, but we just weren't sure. It took us a year of talking and trying to decide what was best for our family to decide to try and have another baby. We were blessed to get pregnant with CG, our daughter, and in so many ways we are complete as a family.

We have our two sons and our daughter but so many times I keep thinking that I would like to have one more baby. I come from a family with three kids and I always swore I would have two or four but never three. Well you know what they say. Never say never. Granted I will say that the family dynamic is completely different then what I grew up with. There is a huge difference in being the oldest out of three sisters and then having two sons and a daughter. No where near the amount of estrogen. I am seven and nine years older then my sisters and my boys, as of right now, get along so much better then my sisters ever did. KS and I hope and pray that this continues. For the most part all of my kids get along great, the two with the most issues are CG and C and even between those two it isn't that bad.

Sometimes I just wish I had a crystal ball, some way to be able to say okay, if you did make this decision it would either go this way or that. There are so many negatives when we discuss having another baby most of which are the financial standpoint. We just bought a brand new car last summer, it seats five and their are five of us. Perfect fit. We would have to buy another car and most likely trade in mine which I love and am really only willing to trade it in on the bigger version of what we already have. The only negative there is that the bigger version is way out of any price point we have ever had. The other thing we have thought of is for KS to buy a van for him (we only have one vehicle right now) and I keep my car but I borrow the van whenever I would need to take all the kids somewhere or if we needed to go somewhere as a family. Not a big deal and it would work, but do we really want to do that?

I have always said that I have to be done having kids by the time I turned 30, that means holding a baby in my arms at 29. No still being pregnant at 30. This is just a  personal decision I have made. After having babies at 18, 19, and 23 I see not point to continue that into my 30's. KS and I have never had "us" time. The last time we went somewhere sans kids was.... well I cant even remember. I don't think we have ever been anywhere without CG. So we are talking 4-5 years. I am ready for our own personal us time.

At the end of the day KS doesn't think we need to have another baby and I really don't either. Yes it would be wonderful and such a blessing but I just don't know if it would be the best thing for our family at this point. Who knows, maybe we will readdress the decision after a year or two but I have a feeling that our family of five will remain a family of five and not six, even if I question our decision every couple of weeks.

Valentines Day

Since this was KS and I's third Valentines Day apart I figured I would just do something small for the kids. Not to mention I am getting one heck of a head cold and I just didn't feel like doing anything remotely big. I ended up going to Bed Bath and Beyond today in search of new Tervis cups for the kids. Imagine my sunrise when I walked in to see a rather large table full of 50% off Tervis cups! I was thrilled and ended up getting six cups for what I was planning on paying for three. Needless to say the kids got their new cups for V-day and I still have three cups stashed away for St. Patrick's Day or Easter whichever I decide. I bought the cups and a bag of chocolate as their gifts from KS and I. The rest of the chocolate was sent to us by my Mom and I just combined everything and used it as our table centerpiece for dinner tonight. The kids were thrilled with it!

I will wait until you are home to have Christmas...

I miss you Honey, and we love you so much!! We are so proud of you, not too much longer baby and you will be home in our arms again! I love you KS.

It's not goodbye, it's see you soon.

This is my story, of my life and feelings leading up to deployment #2, not only is this deployment #2 it is also the second time in this year that we have had to say "see you soon.."  The second time we have faced the D word... 2011 will be known for deployments in my family, both for goodbyes and hellos.  

Sept 21st- Here we are once again looking down the barrel of another deployment. By the time he leaves again he will have only been home 5.5 months.... These past 5.5 months have been a blessing and blessing that could have and should have been so so much shorter. If it hadn't of been for his back issues we would have said "see you soon" again months ago instead of in a few weeks. Is it so wrong to be thankful for something that causes my husband pain day in and day out? If it is then I am a terrible person, but that pain kept him from being sent to a place we would never want him to go, a place where each day would be spent in worry and fear.... A place that I pray for day in and day out for the ones who went.

Yesterday I was feeling the weight of this deployment. I was feeling the sadness and heaviness that comes from knowing we will have to watch him leave again in such a short amount of time and for such a longer amount of time this go round. In so many ways for me deployments are a weight I have to bare until his boots are on the ground and I am in his arms again. I literally carry it with me day in and day out. Homecomings are in many ways hard to describe if you are looking to express what you feel within. When KS came home in April I had no clue how heavy the pack was I was carrying but seeing him again lifted all of that. I was able to stand up straight, to breathe again... I could literally feel the difference within my body... the stress just lifts and seems to evaporate into the wind, but now the pack is back. I can feel it filling itself up with each passing day. I can feel the weight of it settling into my back and on my shoulders.... I can feel it settling in for the long haul. Some days pass and I can barely feel it it is just a paper that blows in the wind, one that I feel rustle along my back and other days... other days it feels as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, but this is how it goes. This is deployment. Some days you breeze through the day and its okay you think to yourself "I've got this no big deal..." and other days if feels as if you can barely function in this world... I am not looking forward to getting back into this cycle and while I am already starting to feel it it is nothing compared to while he is away...

Why, hello there.

It has been so long since I have graced this blog with my often infrequent ramblings that I actually had to go dig out the little piece of paper that has my password on it for this account. I couldn't even remember it... now whether that is a good thing or a bad thing I don't know. I know my family would say bad because I have been neglecting this blog and there for neglecting their updates for my family... my family and my sanity on the other hand my be saying THANK YOU, you needed the break. Plus writers block is an extremely sucky thing, it is like a sore that grows and grows until you cant even form words in your brain when you are staring at the laptop with your "New Post" open and it remains blank... and stays that way for months it seems. Oh well... it happens to the best of us.

Life around here is getting hectic again, as it does every September. You see we have celebrated two birthdays this month. Didn't know that did you? Well, our precious Cayleigh-Grace turned 3 on the 3rd, her golden birthday, and our first born turned 8.... today! Happy birthday Kiale!! School is in full swing around here and has been for a month now. I can say with great enthusiasm that it is going MUCH better then last year. Thank God for that!! Kiale is doing great. The first 2 weeks were rough but it has been smooth sailing since then. Coin is doing excellent and his teacher is wanting to have him tested for gifted because it is just too easy for him. The poor boy comes home telling me how bored he is in class on an almost daily basis, thankfully he has a amazing teacher who is going to start giving him extra work that is at an advanced level to try and keep his interest.

We have added something new to our schedules this month, Cub Scouts. The boys are finally old enough to join in the fun and they are loving it. Some nights it seems like added homework for KS and I but it is all worth it. Now if I would just get around to getting their patches sew on they would be really happy with me. ;-) They are starting popcorn sales this month so all family and friends out there please help support my two Cub Scouts, I will be sending emails today or tomorrow with the website where you can order popcorn. (hint, hint) A percentage of their sales goes to their troop and helps keep costs down for patches, dues, activites etc.

Army life... well sometimes I don't even know where to begin on that subject. Today marks a year since we arrived at this post. In so many ways the time has literally flown by. We have got a new house, been through a deployment, finished one school year and started another, and celebrated many birthdays already. Many people ask me what I feel about our current post and after being here a year I can honestly say that I am indifferent to it. I don't see anything bad about it but there is nothing great about it either. I am thankful for the lack of negative things here. It makes being here easier. We are close-ish to home and there are so many outdoor things to do around here it makes it very enjoyable. We are a pretty active family who enjoys hiking and out door activities and they are plentiful around here. The biggest thing that has happened recently was that KS was promoted. Yay, go KS!! Other then that it has just been life as usual.

Blah

That is how I am feeling today, just plain blah. This morning was good and productive, registered the kids for school, took Kiale to his speech class, came home and KS made me lunch during his lunch break. It was nice, and this this afternoon I have just spiraled into a bad mood with 0 patience for the kids. Which always makes dealing with them so much harder, especially when the littlest things set you off... but oh well. We all have our good days and our bad days. I didn't work out this morning and that my have something to do with my attitude, although not the main reason. I just started back to working out after taking a month off. Back in late June I got really sick and was out of commission for almost 2 full weeks. Turns out I had a gallstone and I had a pretty serious gallbladder attack. I was too stubborn to go to the hospital for until KS told me I had to go 3 days later because I was yellow and clearly jaundice. Somehow I managed to have one large stone that ended up blocking my bile duct resulting in the jaundice. Let me tell you people, for those of you who have never had jaundice... it SUCKS. You itch, and I'm talking severe itching that doesn't stop. I would wake myself up in the middle of the night because I was scratching in my sleep. The itching lasted for almost two weeks and I thought I was going to loose my mind from it. Thankfully it subsided just in time for my sisters wedding July 9th!

Summer is here!!

My kids are being wild and crazy today and I am fixing to take them all to the grocery store.... I may have just lost my mind. Although, KS would argue that I lost my mind 10 years ago when we started dating and then I really lost it when we wed 8 years ago. I like to argue that I was brainwashed ;-) Summer is in full swing in the south the heat is rising and the humidity won't let anyone forget its sticky presence. The saying you could cut it like butter couldn't be closer to the truth. I was under the assumption that the further south you got the hotter and more humid the weather was.... well folks let me tell you I was WRONG (yes KS I just admitted that, and don't expect it to happen again) Not only are we more inland then our original home we are also further north. Neither of which matters when it comes to heat and humidity...  chalk that up to a lesson learned.

I have been away from blogland for the past month and I must say it was a much needed break, May was busy. We finished up with reintegration with KS, Kiale and Colin had graduations and end of they school year ceremonies, as well as the start of T-ball season for both boys. Cayleigh-Grace decided that she wanted to test out the "terrible twos" for a little while and I read... a lot. Eight books total in May, and we went back home for a few days this past weekend.

Life on post is going good except for one MAJOR issue... they closed the pools. Their are two pools on post, one indoor and one outdoor. The indoor pool has been closed for a couple of years now due to renovations and now they decided to close the outdoor pool as well, I cannot help but wonder how many years it is going to take them to build a new outdoor pool and splash pad if it has taken them over two years to just renovate the indoor pool. Needless to say my water bugs are ticked off and their Mamma is as well. We already have two blow up pools for the backyard but they are no where near as fun as a normal size pool with a giant slide... but we will deal.

I do have several bog posts coming up as well as a product review from my new favorite brand of hot sauce Cholula! (They are amazing folks, go get some and try it. You WILL love it.)  Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things and get some steady posts coming out of this blog again. It has been too long since I was on here regularly.

1st week home

Since KS got home Easter Sunday a lot of stuff has been happening. The first couple of days were wonderful and honestly I don't think that accurately describes it. He went back to work on Wednesday and found out whats going to be going on for the next few months. He ended up getting the stomach bug that the kids and I had the week prior to his arrival on Thursday and spent the entire night throwing up and messing his back up even worse then it was before. He went to sick call for the second day in a row due to his back and the stomach bug and spent the entire day of Friday on quarters for 24 hours. He is supposed to have an X-ray done on his back, hopefully they will be able to figure out exactly what is wrong with it soon. We didn't do much of anything over the weekend other then spend time together as a family which was nice to do after a 3 month long break of it.

I have still been reading a lot and I managed to finish the last book in the Harry Potter series yesterday, its only the second time I have read them. I own all of them and I'm not really sure why I have only read them once. I forgot how good they were. I finally decided which E-reader I want to buy, I'm going to go with the Kindle.  The main reason is that I don't want to buy the Barnes and Nobel version and then us get transferred to Germany or somewhere outside the US and it not work. I haven't bought it yet but I am using the Kindle for PC to read the series I have just started and I will just transfer whatever books I have on my laptop to it whenever I finally get around to buying it.

May is going to be a good month for us, the kids are getting out of school and it will finally be the start to our summer!! We are hoping to make a trip back home this month and I am wanting us to take the kids to the zoo and the aquarium at some point this month as well. Hopefully I can get KS to agree to go. I have been dying to take them but I just haven't had a chance to go yet. Maybe we can go to one of them for mother's day this weekend.

The kids are doing good with KS home, Kiale is acting so much better and is not giving me anywhere near the problems he was giving me while KS was deployed. I'm hoping that this continues.

This is my 550th post, yay!

Roller Coasters

Roller coasters are something that I am not to fond of, I love the rush but I'm always paranoid I am going to fall out or loose my shoes and I'm small enough that whenever it dips or turns fast I come up off of my seat and it scares the living crap out of me. So needless to say they are not something that I frequently go on, but it is something that I live. Experiencing on a day to day basis. Some days the track is smooth and is lacking the severe drops and upside down loops that scare me so much, but on other days it feels like I am dropping two hundred feet going while going 100mph and lifting up out of my seat threatening to be thrown off. This is one of those days. This roller coaster that is our lives is giving us one hell of a wild ride and all I can do is close my eyes and hold on tight. I sit here on the couch typing this post while looking around my living/dinning room noticing the footlockers, the ruck sack, Kevlar vest and all of the other equipment that screams deployment. For now it means homecoming and that KS is home and safe, but I cant help but wonder for how long. The Army is notorious for changing plans and saying "hey you, go here!" without discretion. Every little bump and jolt on this roller coaster makes me appreciate my life and my husband more and more. There will be days, weeks, and months where all I have is longing and the ups and downs of deployment. Then there will be redeployment days where you are just thankful to have them home no matter how long they are able to stay with you. If you ever learn anything from being in the service its appreciation for those you love. You hold them a little tighter at night and you pick up their clothes breathing in as deeply as you possibly can savoring in their smell, the very essence of who they are because you never know exactly how long you are going to have them for. This lifestyle comes with so many different separations, the obvious being deployments, but not many people on the outside realize everything else that goes with it. You have schools, trainings, FTX, 24 hour duty, it is rare to be simply existing without the date of their next departure lingering in the background of your mind and thoughts. Its always there, but you learn to coexist with it. You learn to set aside the ticking clock and trade it out for the present, because that is what really matters. The here and now. Not the future. The future will be what it will be, but now, now is the time to embrace the things you love most in life. Its the time to hug a little tighter and love a little harder. Now, while you still can. In light of these things I think I'm going to tighten my belt a little tighter and hold on a little stronger and ride this roller coaster that is my life. Only God knows where it will go and how hard it will drop. The twists and turns that make up this life are not up to us, so I'm going to embrace them now and deal with whatever it gives me when it gets here. This is the life we choose and we are in for one hell of a wild ride. 

He is home!

Our Easter was amazing, Easter involved a homecoming, our first homecoming. KS is home and we are done with our first deployment. From the beginning of this deployment they kept bouncing around dates to return, we heard a year, then six months, then three months. No one really  knew exactly what was going to happen, and then on the 19th of March I heard it was a possibility, a rumor, that the guys were coming home after only 3 months there. Then on April 2nd I got the call, he was coming home in just a couple of short weeks. What I thought was going to be a 13 month deployment turned into 3. We are blessed beyond measure and I will treasure and appreciate every day we are able to be together that we, normally, would not have had if this deployment hadn't been cut short.

Yesterday was amazing, I got the kids up and it was business as usual. They had no idea what was in store for them just two hours after waking up. KS wanted it to be a complete surprise for them and asked me not to tell anyone and that is what I did. Cayleigh-Grace and Kiale got up first I fed them breakfast and started getting them dressed. I got the dress out that I bought over a month ago for Cayleigh-Grace to wear in June for R and R. As soon as she saw it she got all excited "Go pick Daddy up!?" she yelled. I just told her that since it was Easter I wanted her to wear her pretty dress she accepted it and put it on. Kiale got dressed and then finally Colin got up and got dressed. By that time it was 0930 and I was trying to get him to hurry up and eat his oatmeal but he really wasn't wanting it, so I just let him be done. By the time he went and got dressed it was 0945 and time to head out the door to pick up KS. I ended up going to the wrong side of the headquarters at first so I had to call him and figure out exactly where we were supposed to be picking him up. Once we got to the correct place I let the kids out of the truck and walked them over to the vans. They were so confused because they thought they were going to be finding Easter eggs. I told them to go find their big Easter egg and KS walked around the van. They just stood there staring at him. There was no running and jumping into his arms, there was just a lot of staring and disbelief. It took them a little while to realize that that really was Daddy. By the time we got home, about 10 minutes later, they were thrilled, and finally getting excited about having KS home. It took a little while for Cayleigh-Grace to warm up to him again but after a few hours she was Daddy's girl once again. The day was spent enjoying the presents KS brought back from Afghanistan and the rest of their Easter gifts.We spent the day laying around the house and just enjoying each others company once again.

I still cant believe that he is actually home. I never really got my hopes up about him coming home early, I mean, who ever hears of a deployment being cut short? I never let myself believe that he was really coming home and I was too scared to be crushed by the disappointment of it. Now that he is here I am just enjoying him being home. It has been 30 hours now and I cant help but think to myself that he is really here. Its like I am still trying to convince myself that he really is home and its not some figment of my imagination sitting here next to me on the couch.

If you are wondering why there is a lack of pictures on this post its because I didn't get any. Sorry.

From 3 to 4

KS and I have been batting around the idea of going from 3 to 4 kids recently. It started about 6 months ago when we decided that we did want one more child, then I decided no thank you during the month after he left, but now we are talking about it again. This time we are leaning far towards 4 rather then 3. The biggest question is when would be the right time. I know people that would argue there never is a "right" time and if you wait for that time it will never happen and I totally get that, but we want to be in the best financial standpoint possible this time around, and that takes planning. I want to be debt free, or as close to it as we possibly can. If I have my numbers crunched right we should be able to pay our truck of with our income tax money next year. That is really the only bill we have left and it is a huge chunk of our paycheck as well. If we are able to get that paid off I will be 100% okay with having another baby but a part of me still wants to wait until we sell our house back home as well. Its been for sale for about a month now and we haven't heard anything and with the market the way it is that doesn't surprise me one bit. Right now we have renters in it until it sells thank goodness but if those renters ever leave and we don't have our truck paid off we would be in big trouble from a financial standpoint. Then there is the issue of needing another vehicle. Thankfully my truck already seats 6 so it isn't at the top of the list for must haves but it is still on there. We would be using the profits from the house to buy a larger vehicle after it sells. So you see, my list of things that have to be done before we have another baby; 

1. Pay off the truck. 
2. Sell the house. 
3. Buy larger vehicle. 

The only requirement I have is to have the truck paid off before we have another baby the last two can come after and it wouldn't be a big deal. Like I said earlier KS and I are still talking about at this point but it is a nice thought, and we have been putting a lot of thought into it, or at least I have. Its kind of hard to figure out how much thought the he is putting into with him being deployed and all... Thankfully we paid off the rest of our debt with this years income tax money so we are in a good position to be debt free within the next two years. 

Happy 6th Birthday Colin!!

Yesterday was Colin's birthday, he has been looking forward to it for months now. I don't think he ever stopped smiling from the time he woke up until he went to bed last night. His day started off normal, wake up get dressed and head to school for breakfast. Once the school day actually began he was called up to the office and given a special sticker for his shirt that announced today was his birthday. He said the ladies in the office were giving him hugs and telling him how special today was b/c it was his birthday. After lunch I went up to the school and took his class cupcakes, and I managed to remember the napkins and juice boxes this time!

After school we headed to the commissary to order his cake, which unfortunately didn't work out. They no longer carry the Toy Story theme cake, so I told him I would just order it from somewhere else and we headed home. He relaxed and watched movies until it was time to go pick  up Kiale from CYS. That is when the real fun began. KS and I decided to attempt a Skype birthday party. It would have worked out great if KS had had a better connection but we made the best of it.

Colin had a blast opening his gifts, well part of them anyway. He got everything he was wanting. All three Toy Story Movies as well as the toy story box set that includes just about everyone! He was one happy and ecstatic little boy.

Poor kid cannot keep his eyes open during pictures... drives me nuts, but I still love this pic.

Skates and Elephants

For starters I want to give a shout out to my wonderful husband,  

Happy 8th wedding anniversary Honey! I love you!!  

Now, on to our feature presentation of 

Skates and Elephants.

Our weekend was awesome, it started off with a birthday party at the skating rink. We brought Kiale's roller blades and Colin, Cayleigh-Grace and I just got skates from the rink. The kids loved it. Cayleigh-Grace had a hard time accepting the fact that she could not do it. She just isn't coordinated enough to skate. She had never come across something could not do before. I ended up carrying her while I skated back to where the party was being held while she held her face in her hands and cried, "I cant do it" it broke my heart. I think she is going to be sensitive like I was.

Immediately following the skating party we headed down the road to see the Greatest Show on Earth. It was wonderful. We met some friends of ours there and all the kids (Moms included) had a blast. We were trying to get there early enough to make it to the pre show, but it just didn't happen. We got to our seats and a couple of minutes later the pre show ended. It was just too crazy and hectic trying to get from the party and to the circus within 15 minutes, it ended up taking 30. Thankfully the kids didn't want to go down to the pre show anyway. They wanted to stay in our seats so they could just watch what was going on. They knew if we had gone down there we wouldn't' have been able to see what was going on. There was just too many people down there. Right before the show began I took the boys out and got drinks for us to enjoy during the beginning. Here is the opening act. Which just happens to be one of my favorite parts of the entire show. I just love the music and it always manages to get stuck in my  head for hours after I hear it.

Once the show began and the kids got settled I waited on a slow part to head out and get some goodies. I ended up getting each of the boys a snow cone cup, Kiale got a tiger and Colin got an elephant. I also grabbed a bag of cotton candy, you just cannot go to the circus and not get cotton candy. Its the best! Cayleigh-Grace was getting fussy on and off during the performance, I cant imagine why we had only  had once heck of a busy day... she had finally settled down after going from her seat to mine when the people in front of us (well the lady) turned around and yelled at her for kicking her seat. I had no idea she was doing it. The lady kept yelling at her and said "I cant fill with you kicking my seat, stop it!" I didn't even have time to say anything to the lady Cayleigh-Grace went into hysterics right away. I just picked her up out of her chair and rocked her until she calmed down. Thankfully it was so loud in there she wasn't really bothering anyone. At that point I wouldn't have cared if she was I was in shock that that woman yelled at her like that. I don't even talk to her like that... anyways she finally calmed down except for her body jumping every few seconds b/c of her sniffling and trying to catch her breath. Eventually she fell asleep. She slept clear through intermission and through the rest of the show. While she was sleeping the concession clowns came around selling things and I bought Cayleigh-Grace this pink light up wand that spins around.

to the clown. The boys thoroughly enjoyed the show. They kept yelling over the music, "Did you see that?" "That was so cool!!" I already told them we would go next year if it is in town again. The circus is just too good to miss, and our seats were great! I loved where we were at. After the show we headed to the main concession so the kids could pick out some goodies to take home with them. Colin picked out a sword with a sheath like Kiale had got last year when we went before we moved. Kiale got a white tiger stuffy. He wanted one to keep his cheetah stuffy company. We got the cheetah when we took the kids to the zoo when I was five months pregnant with Cayleigh-Grace. Cheety as he is affectionately known as around here has become a fixture on Kiale's bed ever sense. Cayleigh-Grace wanted an elephant. The elephants were her favorite part of the show, unfortunately she missed their main feature since she had cried herself to sleep (dumb... stupid... mean woman....) Thankfully she was able to see them in the opening act and when they played the national anthem. I will admit this every time I hear the national anthem I start tearing up. It seems that that song, among others, is hardwired to my tear ducts now. Guess when you have a husband deployed in a war zone it makes you appreciate things like that so much more. At the end of the day we were all happy and thrilled to have had not

only such a busy day but a magical day as well. Everyone was happy. Once we got home I was exhausted, to the point where it wasn't even 7 O'clock yet and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I ended up ordering Chinese from this place off post that KS swore by. I hadn't tried it yet but he kept tell me it was so much better then my usual delivery place. He was right, it was delicious! We will definitely be ordering from them again, it was great. Almost as good as the Chinese back home. As soon as we were done eating I put the kids to bed and tried to wait on KS so we could skype but I just coudln't do it. I ended up going to bed and getting an email from hem asking where I was. I was just too tired to hold my eyes open any longer. It doesn't help that Cayleigh-Grace had woke up at 0630 that morning. She doesn't even wake up that early on school days...  at the end of the day it was a great day and I wouldn't change anything... we except for the lovely woman who thought she could yell at my daughter. Yes, I am still bitter about it.

Show us your... Rings!

Did you look at rings together? 

Yes, we did. He had he was leaning more towards a different one but I fell in love with this one as soon as I laid eyes on it. 

Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?...and be honest!

 I LOVE my ring, in fact KS will laugh at me, because I will randomly hold up my hand and say "Isn't it pretty?"

How often do you wear your rings?

  Everyday. The only time it off is to clean it, it has been on my hand for 8 years now and that is where it will stay.

Do you clean your rings?

 I do. With just a little soap while I am in the shower. A toddler toothbrush works best to clean it.

What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?

"I love it!!"

The stone in the middle is a tanzanite surrounded by diamonds in white gold. I never wear yellow gold so this was perfect for me, and tanzanite is my favorite gemstone so I got the best all the way around. You can see my wedding band underneath it. I had them soldered together about a year after we got married. The two of them would continuously turn around and drive me crazy. I didn't want anything fancy for my wedding band because I didn't want to take away from my engagement ring, but for our anniversary one year I want to get a diamond band to go on the other side of my engagement ring... I am going to have to get it re-soldered when that happens though.

Go to Mrs. Yellow Ribbon's page and show off your rings too! Don't forget to link up!

well...

• I have four posts in draft that are almost finished (actual decent posts that are about something rather then random bullet points).
• Countless "picture of" posts that are not even almost close to being done. 
• Everyone is healthy and has been for a week. 
• I thank God everyday for Skype and Email.
• CYS registration is complete... well minus orientation, one of which I missed today. It helps if the lady tells you AM or PM when she says be there at 7 tomorrow. I assumed she meant PM... well, we all know what assuming gets you.
• I went to counseling last week, Kiale also went to counseling last week. Gotta love the Military Family and Life Consultants.
• New schedules around the house have changed this house from chaos to peace... well as peaceful as possible with 3 kids and a deployed husband.
• Lots of sewing projects in the works. Now if I can just find the drive to get them started and actually complete them... maybe I should finish the ones I have started first. That might be the better idea. 
• Kiale is finally enjoying reading!!! 

My Week

*I was supposed to post this on Saturday but the week just got away from me, so here it is today... Thursday. Oops.

 Saturday-Monday

I guess you could say that my week really started out on Saturday at about 3o'clock in the afternoon or 1500 whichever you prefer. Colin came down the stairs saying he wasn't feeling well. After going through the usual, what hurts? Let me feel your head I realized he had a fever. So, what did I do... I quarantined him. He was stuck in his room all of Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday in an effort to keep the sickness contained to one child. The poor boy had a nasty fever which developed into a cough that lasted the entire week. Needless to say he did not make it to school Monday. Have you ever noticed that kids get sick at the worst times. Since Colin had the fever so bad I had to keep him home, which meant that he missed the 100 day celebration at school. Instead he spent the majority of the day laying on the couch watching movies with Cayleigh-Grace while I read (Eclipse... again). Cayleigh-Grace on the other hand did not have such a relaxing Monday. She always takes her naps around 3 in the afternoon, but when I told her to go upstairs to her room so we could clean it I found her in bed covered up telling me she was going night night. Right then and there I knew it, but I was still holding out hope. Until she woke up at 3:30 with a blazing fever. Colin was all better and now Cayleigh-Grace was sick... lovely.   

Tuesday

 On Tuesday Colin returned to school and Cayleigh-Grace spent the entire day laying on the couch curled up with me, she was extremely sick. I'm not really sure who had it worse her or Colin, although all Colin got out of it was the fever and a nasty cough. Cayleigh-Grace got the fever, cough, and a full on head cold to top it off. There were some good parts to Tuesday, Kiale lost his 6th tooth, and my best friend from Jr-Sr high school sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to cheer me up since KS left for his first deployment.

Our sickie-poo

What my dinning table looked like when I went to bed on Tuesday.

 Wednesday

On Wednesday Cayleigh-Grace was still really sick and just not up to her normal tempo. Still laying around the house being pretty lethargic and not really wanting to do anything other then watch TV and cuddle. Which was fine with me, I was wanting to finish reading Breaking Dawn anyway. At about 1pm I received a text from Kiale's teacher saying he had a tummy ache but nothing else. So after texting her back twice she said he was fine and not to worry about it. All I could think was please don't let Kiale get sick too... So, I get to school and pick the boys up. Kiale is holding his stomach saying that it hurts and he wants to go lay down. Okay no big deal I though, maybe he just needs to go potty or something. Thirty minutes after we get home I walk downstairs and see this... 

Yes, that is him, asleep.

I ended up carrying him up the stairs into his bedroom, all the while wishing KS was there to carry him. 50lbs of dead weight is not lite. He ended up sleeping from about 4 O'clock until 7:30. Once he woke up I discovered the inevitable, he had the fever, and it was blazing. He only managed to stay up for an hour before he crashed again. Thankfully the day did end on a good note, Cayleigh-Grace was fever free by the end of the night and she even went to bed without her paci!! Yes, that is right I said it, without her paci, and she only cried for about five minutes before she went to sleep. This is HUGE for her, and I couldn't be happier. (and as of this post finally going live she is still paci free at night!!)

Thursday 

Thursday was Kiale's day to stay home from school and I ended up having to have a friend come over and watch him because it was awards day at school, and I couldn't miss my little man getting an award. Even if it was only for meeting standards. As my Mom would say, photo opportunity. 

Friday

By Friday everyone was finally healthy or at least healthy enough to be out in public. Colin and Cayleigh-Grace were still hacking up a storm with their coughs, but they were well enough to be around people so I jumped at the opportunity to go see the clowns that were visiting post. The kids loved the show that they put on, I don't think I have ever seen Cayleigh-Grace laugh at people so much in her life. It really was a treat and a wonderful way to end a very rough and nasty week.                                                             

Feelings

I cannot help but find myself laughing at people on facebook sometimes. Its not me being mean its just the reaction to the lifestyle that I am growing accustomed to. People will say how they miss their hubbys while they are at work during the day. I totally get that I was the same way, when KS was working I couldn't wait for him to come home. The afternoons and weekends where my favorite parts of the day, and on those special days when he would be home for lunch were made just that much better, but now... now it is totally different. Life is different, it is empty in so many ways. I guess that is really the best way to describe it. You see I am one of those women who loves their husband more then their children. That sounds terrible doesn't it? I promise I love my kids more then life itself and I would lay down my life for them in an instant but it is different with KS, when we wed it was till death do you part. I believe I will always love him more, but that is the way it was meant to be isn't it? If you loved your children more then your spouse, your soul mate, then there would be something seriously wrong with your relationship. When we had our children we knew that eventually they will find loves of their own and start their own lives away from us, have children of their own, and then the cycle will repeat. Children only spend a short amount of time with us, 18 years (give or take a few) it is such a short period of time in contrast to the lifetime I plan to spend with KS, and yes our children with be here long after we are dead and buried. We will love our children every day of our lives, but I do not want my children to be dependent upon me their entire lives. I want them to grow and succeed on their own, without our help. Of course we would help them however they needed it (within reason) but I want them to know that they can survive without us, I do not want their lives to revolve around us to the point where they think they have to depend upon us for everything. Anyways... tangent over... with KS gone there is definitely this part of me that is empty. It is truly the strangest feeling, this feeling of longing, sadness, loving, and emptiness all mixed in together to form one cohesive emotion. The best way to describe it would be that it feels like I have this numbness in my chest that just wont go away. Sometimes I don't notice it as much as others but it is always there. Its strange really. I have a feeling it will magically disappear in about a year when KS is home with us again and this deployment is behind us, but for now it will remain where it is.

Day 2, check.

Shortly after this morning began we hit the 24 hour mark since we watched his bus pull away. It was kind of nice knowing that we survived the first day and we will survive the rest of them as well. The kids went back to school today, and I managed to get fussed at for going down the school hallway by one of the teachers. I just needed to let Kiale's teacher know why he was absent yesterday since I forgot to put a note in his backpack and one of the teachers made me wait in the hallway and made Kiale's teacher walk all the way down just so I could talk to her. It wasn't a big deal, but it was just enough to annoy me.

I am already starting to plan R&R... crazy I know.. KS wants to go home to see our family while he is back so I figure we can have him fly into Orlando instead of here and we can hit Disney World for a couple of days then drive up to see our family. Then spend the last week or so here at home. I have to clear all of this by him though of course, and since he is not interested in Disney at all it might not work out that way, but we will see. Either way the kids and I will be going to Disney World this year. I want to take advantage of the 3 day park hopper passes I can get through the Army. I just have to decide how many days we want to take advantage of. I have a feeling I know exactly what he will say... "Disney? Yea, you have fun with that." Which translates into sure you can go, but I'm not in KS speak.

The kids seem to be handling everything pretty well today. Kiale is doing a little better, he is handling it the worst which I am not surprised about since he is the oldest. He understands time a lot better then Colin and Cayleigh-Grace does. It is very lonely with him gone, and very quiet... well as quiet as it can be with three crazy children in the house. The lack of near constant adult interaction is something that I already miss very much. I spent the day yesterday reading Twilight (again) I managed to get through 390 pages and I plan of finishing it today and starting New Moon. Whenever I need an escape and a distraction these are the books I go to. It is just so easy to get sucked into them. Cayleigh-Grace ended up playing playdoh ALL day today. I don't think I have ever seen a child play with it for so long. We also managed to watch all three of the Rainbow Brite DVD's that we have, two of which are the seasons. She loves those movies, they are by far her favorite thing to watch right now. I need to pull out my She'ra DVDs for her to watch next. Gotta love 80's cartoons, they were the best!

Our very own D-Day; Deployment Day.

Wow, so its over. The deed is done, and the love of my life is airport bound. Our day started at 5am we had to get the kids up and ready plus our showers to pick up two of his friends and all their gear by 6. Thankfully everything went smoothly and we were where we needed to be by 6:30. Then we just hung around and enjoyed our last hour before we had to say our goodbyes as the soldiers got into formation. The ceremony was short and sweet. I am hoping that the welcome home ceremony is just as short, but I have a long time before I get to worry about that. I was so surprised with myself I really kept it together during the ceremony and even during the phone calls that I had to make afterword. I am one of the most emotional people you will ever come across. (Just ask my Mom she will confirm it, she always told me she had never experienced a child as emotional as I was.) There was no huge breakdown or scene made but don't doubt the fact that watching my husband board onto the bus was the hardest thing I have ever done. Not running after him and begging him to stay took so much self control, more then I thought I would ever possess. As he loaded the bus and took his seat I raised each of the kids up to his window (not an easy task with two 50lb boys and a 35lb daughter) so they could hold his hand and say goodbye one final time, and then the bus began to pull away and it was over; or really it has just begun. 

In the days leading up to today I was filled with so many different emotions, so many of which I am still having a hard time expressing. I always write KS a going away letter and I just couldn't get the pen to write for some reason. The words just weren't coming out the way I wanted them too; so the letter went out unfinished and jumbled with a mess of random thoughts. Not the way I wanted to send him off but at the time it was just the best I could do. I even forgot to give it to him at the last minute. There they all were in formation and I have to have Kiale run it out there to him after the Army Song had run its course and they are fixing to load onto the bus. He just gave me his usual look that is normally accompanied by some comment about how "smart" I am... although this time all I got was the look. At least it got to him even if it was late and not written as well as I would have liked.

Day one is officially over. We can mark a day off the calendar and look forward to their being one less day of this deployment to go through. I let the kids stay home from school today for a "mental health" day. I figured after just seeing their Daddy leave they would need a day to just chill out and relax. We ended up coming home and having breakfast followed by everyone taking a three hour nap between eleven and two pm. After we got up the kids and I had to make a PX run to get some poster board for their 100 day celebrations at school. It ended up taking the entire afternoon for them to create their poster boards and get caught up on the past two days worth of homework since I didn't make them do their homework yesterday. Kiale actually had one of the read and response worksheets to do, I was pretty proud he did fairly well for his first one. He kept getting frustrated that he had to reread the paragraphs constantly to find the answers though. I keep telling him the more he practices the better he is going to get, but he just doesn't have the patience for it. He wants to be good at it now not later. Thankfully we were able to talk to KS multiple times throughout the day today and even tonight. He was able to tell the kids goodnight and we were able to have a bit of a conversation before he got on his last flight. He was even able to talk to his mom, Godfather, and one of his best friends from AIT and BCT. Now begins the parts of separations that I don't like (not that there really is anything to like about them...) the nights, the weekends suck too, but I am determined to find stuff to keep us all occupied. I just cannot wait for summer to get here we will be plenty busy then; doing our usual pool every day routine.

This is my 500th post... guess it seems fitting that it would be one that will change our lives forever.