From 3 to 4

KS and I have been batting around the idea of going from 3 to 4 kids recently. It started about 6 months ago when we decided that we did want one more child, then I decided no thank you during the month after he left, but now we are talking about it again. This time we are leaning far towards 4 rather then 3. The biggest question is when would be the right time. I know people that would argue there never is a "right" time and if you wait for that time it will never happen and I totally get that, but we want to be in the best financial standpoint possible this time around, and that takes planning. I want to be debt free, or as close to it as we possibly can. If I have my numbers crunched right we should be able to pay our truck of with our income tax money next year. That is really the only bill we have left and it is a huge chunk of our paycheck as well. If we are able to get that paid off I will be 100% okay with having another baby but a part of me still wants to wait until we sell our house back home as well. Its been for sale for about a month now and we haven't heard anything and with the market the way it is that doesn't surprise me one bit. Right now we have renters in it until it sells thank goodness but if those renters ever leave and we don't have our truck paid off we would be in big trouble from a financial standpoint. Then there is the issue of needing another vehicle. Thankfully my truck already seats 6 so it isn't at the top of the list for must haves but it is still on there. We would be using the profits from the house to buy a larger vehicle after it sells. So you see, my list of things that have to be done before we have another baby; 

1. Pay off the truck. 
2. Sell the house. 
3. Buy larger vehicle. 

The only requirement I have is to have the truck paid off before we have another baby the last two can come after and it wouldn't be a big deal. Like I said earlier KS and I are still talking about at this point but it is a nice thought, and we have been putting a lot of thought into it, or at least I have. Its kind of hard to figure out how much thought the he is putting into with him being deployed and all... Thankfully we paid off the rest of our debt with this years income tax money so we are in a good position to be debt free within the next two years. 

On hold.

You know how you feel when you have been waiting on hold for what seems like centuries. The elevator music playing in the background and your phone on the speakerphone setting while you fiddle around on facebook or walk around the house debating whether to unload the dryer or clean out the dishwasher. That slightly annoyed but still  complacent feeling you get, you know, before the severe annoyance of being on hold for half the day sets in. That is where I am at right now. I cant decide what I want to do or where I want to go. I feel as if my life has been put on hold and I don't really care enough to change it. It is a sucky unaccomplished feeling to have. Its a feeling that I want to change; I just don't have the drive to change it. Its like I don't care enough to change it. I am perfectly fine with the monotone colors my life has taken on since KS left, and that scares me. There are more nights now that I go to sleep and wake up with my eyes burning and red from crying the night before. I have no reason to cry we are blessed with excellent communication, we see/talk to each other daily and we are blessed beyond belief for that, and yet for two nights this week I have cried. When I stop and think about it deep down I believe it is the accumulation of many things, deployment included. I am fixing to turn 26, my husband is in the middle of a war zone, my parents prepaid for my collage and I have yet to take full advantage of it, I want to go to the gym and start working out on a near daily basis and yet I don't, I want to sew and let my creativity run wild with fabric and painting and yet I don't. I just cant find the drive to do it, and I cant help but wonder if I force myself into doing these things if it will all crumble b/c my heart isn't quite in it yet. I know and fully realize that 26 is young, but if I am going to be honest it is way closer to 30 then to 20 and that fact scares the crap out of me. I am afraid to age, I am afraid to look in the mirror one day and see someone I don't recognize. Vain I know but it is the God honest truth, I don't want to get older. There are so many things that I want to do and so many ambitions that I want to conquer and yet I just sit here on hold accomplishing nothing, and I don't even understand why. I don't get why I cant get myself to step up the the proverbial plate of life and take a swing . What am I afraid of?? Yes I totally flunked out of my college math class and I have no idea how I will pass it the second time around but I have got to quit using that as an excuse. It cannot be what holds me back any longer. I want to have a smokin' hot body when KS gets home from deployment, heck, I want to be looking good when he gets home on R&R. I don't want him to come home to the same old me, I want him to go back thinking damn she is lookin good, not oh well hopefully she starts doing something now. I want to start working towards my goals by first getting all of my basic college courses completed and passed. All I have left is my two maths and the final English and they will all be done, then I can focus on taking classes towards what I want to do with my life. Delivering babies and becoming a licensed midwife. I need to light a fire under my ass and get to it, enough with being on hold. I am going to drive myself mad if this continues. I want be able to hold my head up and be proud of myself instead of just being okay with my life and my accomplishments, and I want KS and my parents to be proud of me too. Aside from my kids they are the three most important people in my life and I feel like I am letting all of them, myself included, down and I am sick and tired of it. Starting Monday I am taking myself off of hold, I am calling the gym and getting Cayleigh-Grace registered with their daycare. I am going to call the people who hold my free college credits and see if I can even access them being out of state, and I am going to get my butt in gear and start doing something with my life.

An Awesome Read

I am Number 4

Cayleigh-Grace and I spent a good hour+ in Barnes and Noble today scouring the bookshelves looking for something good to read and keep me entertained, and this did just that. Well, for the few hours that it took me to read all 440 pages. Needless to say I could not put the book down. I have been wanting to see the movie but haven't got the chance, and the book did not disappoint. I absolutely loved it, and I must say it will go on my list of favorite reads, and I cannot wait until August when the second book in the series comes out. Hopefully it will be as good as this one is. 

I can officially mark off 5 of the 52 books I am hoping to read during this deployment off of my goals list, and I already have a list of about 6 other books that I am wanting to purchase... if only having unlimited funds was an option... since it isn't an option I will have to wait... maybe a book a payday??? Two books a payday is so very tempting though.

Deployment Goals

I have two main deployment goals to begin working towards:

1.Getting my Childbirth Educator certification.
2.Getting my Lactation Consultant certification.  

       I fully realize that these two goals could very well take a couple of years to accomplish, but it is something that I would like to begin working towards. Cayleigh-Grace is not going to be home with me forever, she will be starting school the year we move and I would like to be prepared to get a job while the she and the boys are in school. 

Then there are the many smaller and less life changing goals that I hope to accomplish.

1. complete the many quilts that I have in various stages of completion.
2. Make the quilts that I have had the material to make for the past couple of years.
3. Go to the Gym on an almost daily basis. 
4. Join a Pilates, and an Ultimate Ab class.  
5. Work on cardio and strength training big time. 
6. Work on creating a nice garden area around the house and in the back yard. 
7. Read at least 52 books while KS is gone. (So far I have already read 4) Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.
8. Purchase Cayleigh-Grace's new dresser as well as a headboard or full bed frame for KS and I's bed.
9. Work on my photography. 
10. Research becoming a doula. 
11. Sell our house back home. 

Knowing me I will be continuously adding to this list as the time goes on, but this is a good starting point. I am actually looking forward to going through this list month by month to see how it will grow and to watch myself mark things off bit by bit. 

Deployment Goals

I have seen many places where they suggest a list of goals to occupy your time during deployments. What goals have you made, what do you do to keep the time passing quickly? Is there any particular goals that you would suggest? I am hoping to compile a list very soon, but I was looking for some pointers since as of right now my list is fairly short.

Limbo

No, I am not talking about the fun game we all played in our childhood, and at some wild and crazy weddings. I am talking about where I am at right now. I am hanging in limbo waiting for either the green light or the yellow light. Unfortunately I will continue hanging in limbo until KS and I can sit down and talk about all of our options there are lots of pros and cons all of which revolve around when we should move. Should it be June or should it be March/April? If we move in March/April we will not have to wait for a house one is already ready for us, but we would have to move the kids out of their wonderful school into a school whose curriculum is quite a bit less then the school they are currently attending. They boys would be ahead of their peers but I do not want them bored in class. Colin would be going from a full day preK with reading, writing, math, Spanish, and Bible study to a half day of preK... Kiale will continue to be in a full days classes, but their new school just doesn't offer everything that their current school does so I am just starting to think that it will be better for the kids to finish out the school year here. KS won't be able to live with us until April-ish and I know I don't want to move until he can actually live with us. Although, we would get to see him at night and on weekends if we were to move, but I realize that a lot of his time will be taken up with school and homework. So if we were to move mid April, they would only have a month and a half of school left to complete if we were to stay, and looking at the grand scheme of things I keep thinking to myself why not just stay and finish out the school year. Kiale and my sister are both graduating this year, full cap and gown graduations ceremonies. One from Kindergarten and one from high school and I really want to get pictures of the two of them together with their cap and gowns and I also want to see her graduate, as well as be here for her Senior Prom. There are so many different reasons why I want to stay here, and of course the reason I want to move. Well that's the easy one, KS.
 
This is where I stop and ask all of my experienced Army Wife friends and any other readers experienced with moving school aged children for advice. So please leave your thoughts in my comments section, I don't want to overlook anything that I may not be currently aware of once KS and I are able to sit down and make our decision, and please remember, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Thank You. ~Charity

By the way... I sold my van today, that is one thing I get to mark off my list, and buy selling that it means I will get to mark several other things off of my list that I needed the money from the van to complete!! I am one happy woman today!!

Lists and a Suprise

My life seems to be all about lists these past few days and adding to them. I am up to 4 pages of lists now... but do you know the best thing about lists? You get to mark stuff off of them! I have a list for bills to pay off with our return, I have a list for what I need to take to graduation, I have a list for everything I need to do/buy to complete the remodel on the house so we can get it rented... here is my do/buy before renters list:

Paint- bedrooms, bathrooms, ceiling, and cabinets
Replace Floors- bathrooms, bedrooms
Other- put the base boards down, replace the board on the ceiling that is missing (decorative), put the trim around the doors, replace the hinges in the kitchen, pressure wash the house, but new garbage cans, replace outlets throughout the house.
Rent- dumpster and clean out garage and yard
Sell- my van
Clean- out closets and under the sinks, organize Christmas decorations, clear out outside toys
Purge- any clothes that are too small or just worn out
Dogs- get both of them updated on shots, and get Zoe fixed
Cats- find homes for all 4 of them

and finally after all that is done...

.... FIND RENTERS!!

I can get all this done in a month right!? I sure hope so since I called the housing company on base yesterday and they said they already have a house we could move into right now, and there is zero wait for a 3 bedroom house on post!! I am so excited, I couldn't believe it when the lady told me we will be moving as soon as I can get renters in this house!! I have already called and got Colin on the waiting list for Pre-K, and Kiale is already signed up as an incoming kindergartner. I even talked to the principle at the school today, she was very nice and answered all of my questions for me. I am getting more and more excited with every passing day. Did I mention that KS will be graduating in just a few short days!! He passed his PT test and beat his shortest time for running the 2 mile. All of his times and figures have improved, so he is doing wonderfully!  We are fixing to end one part of training and then jump in head first into the next phase of training, and I couldn't be prouder of my husband. He has pushed through the pain and overcame what he needed to overcome to complete his goals!!

Long Term Goals

Well here is our exciting news...

1. We are moving, not yet and probably not for a good 3-5 years with this economy, but we are going to be moving. We are going to be headed up to Huntsville Alabama as soon as the economy gets better and houses start selling again, and we are able to sell our house.

2. Once the kids get older and are less dependent upon me I will be going to school to become a midwife, I realize that I am talking a good 10 years + but that is what long term goals are for right!?

Kiale has wanted to move for quite awhile now, but I have finally made the decision that I want to move as well, the only problem is that we are both ready to move now, but we know that with this economy and the way houses are not selling our plans are going to take a long time to become reality.

Living Room!!!

Well minus rehanging my pictures, making my curtains (after I decide on fabric choices), and putting up the baseboards (which we have yet to buy) the living room is FINISHED!! Oh, I also need to paint the front door, but that doesn't matter the hard stuff is done!... now only 3 more rooms to go. The room looks SO much BIGGER its amazing, Kiale picked the wall color out. I know it is going to really be a surprise to a lot of people b/c they know how much I cannot stand white walls, but it isn't white its tan, and just wait until you see my curtains... There will be PLENTY of color in the room, trust me! I really do like the color though, it looks like beach sand.


Did I mention I LOVE the living room! Kiale and I were up until 12:30 this morning working on it. My husband is so AMAZING spends all day working at the shop just to come home and work for another 5+ hours on his hands and knees putting down a wood floor. I know he is happy though, I got two kisses before he left for work today, I love that man!

Remodel Update 2-21

Here are the pictures from everything that Uncle Jimmy and Kiale did today. Kiale thinks that he is Uncle Jimmy's helper.






Here is what KS is working on, my Laundry room, unfortunately I did not get a picture before he ripped out the cabinets and emptied them onto my washer and dryer. I cannot complain though b/c he is totally redoing my laundry room. I am going to be so happy when its done, and I can finally get rid of the wood paneling that I HATE!






I halfway don't want to put any pictures up here since you all can see what a mess my house is right now, but if you have ever been through any sort of a remodel you understand why its such a mess.

New Floors

Well I can already mark 1 thing off my goals list, new floors!! I couldn't have got a better Valentine's Day Gift, I am so excited, I hate nasty carpet!! Now I need to go look at paint, might as well get that done before the new floors get put in! Wouldn't want to mess them up.

The List Goes On...

Wouldn't it be nice to have an endless supply of money. We have so many things that we want to get done... too bad the all cost $$, and is going to take FOREVER to complete.

Here is what we want to do...

1. Put up a new fence in the backyard
2. Put up "my fence" in the front yard
2. Redo the boys bathroom
3. Repaint the entire house, minus Cayleigh-Grace's room
4. Make new drapes for the house
5. Build a ground level deck in the backyard, attached to the house
6. Create several... many raised gardening beds in the front yard in "my fence"
7. Put large stone paving stones in front of our porch in "my fence"
8. Get the boys playhouse built
9. Get furniture for the front porch and back deck
10. Pressure wash the entire house
11. Make a duvet cover for my bed and the boys beds
12. Get a large swing for "my yard"
13. Put new floors throughout our entire house
14. Paint the kitchen cabinets
15. Put in new counter tops in the kitchen

Dreams sure are nice aren't they... By the way, "my fence & my yard" is going to be the part of our property where no kids toys will be allowed. It will be Kiale and I's sanctuary... won' t it be nice... I cannot wait.