Day 14 & Day 15

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 14, A nonfiction book.
The Last Days of the Romanovs, Tragedy at Ekaterinburg 
This is an amazing and most up to date book on the Romanov tragedy. It brings in the latest evidence and is the most conclusive book I have read on the subject. If you are not familiar the Romanovs, Nicholas II and Alexandra were the last Tzar and Tsarina of Russia. They along with their 4 daughters and son, as well as some others close to their family were murdered one night in a basement while Russia was going through a catastrophic civil war. They had been imprisoned within the house for quite some time and this book goes through their last two weeks within the walls of the Ipatiev House as well as what happened after the massacre and what historians are trying to do now with identifying remains and trying to figure out exactly what happened. 

If you enjoy history and are a history buff like me you will enjoy this book. It gives you a great insite into a life and tragedy long ago.

Day 15, an fanfic.... well this is close enough. I have read this on a few other blogs and figured I would pass it on. It will be good for people to read for future reference... I am sure we will be going through an "extended vacation" soon enough and I don't want to hear this crap...

1.  "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The though always lingers at the backs of our minds --- but thanks brilliant. You just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2.  "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, it's just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives/girlfriends have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challinging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3.  "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4.  "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc.?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5.  "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he is gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife/girlfriend out there who gets bored when her husband/boyfriend leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always keeps me busy.)

6.  "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands/boyfriends are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days untl they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7.  "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and it's true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. Te worry never goes away.)

8.  "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/eyc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp and white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy Ford Taurus with a Mercedes-Benz convertible.)

9.  "Wow you must miss him?"
(This one also get s another big "duh." Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10.  "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
(I dn't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi army in Iraw and that Sadr city is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day --- and on maps everywhere.)

11.  "Well he signed up for it, so it's his fault whatever happens over there." or, "You knew what you were getting into when he signed up."
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and be asked to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that, "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12.  "Don't you miss sex? I couldn't do it!"
(hmmm, no I don't miss sex. I'm a robot. Seriously... military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. Welearn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. and the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13.  "Well in my opinion...."
(Stop right there. I didn't ask for your personal political opinions, and I don't care!)

Last but not least....
14.  "OH, that's horrible... I am so sorry!"
(Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)


Shandra said...

Oh my goodness! You've just written probably my favorite post ever! My husband just left and it drives me nuts having people tell me how they don't think he should be there or ask how long he'll be gone and how long he has left in the army and....all the others. This isn't the life that I pictured for myself when I was young and thinking about my future, but it's the life I chose when I chose to marry my husband and I'm perfectly happy with that decision. I totally agree with all of your points that you made and have to say "bravo!" for putting it out there!

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