Friday, October 16, 2009

Wouldn't it be so easy if we didn't have feelings, if we couldn't feel pain, sorrow, guilt... I guess I should say if we didn't have some feelings. I broke down and started crying on the football field after watching my sisters cheer and their boyfriends play. Our families were all huddled around talking and we were all just having a wonderful time. My dad was chasing C-G and the boys. Big KS was racing Kiale up and down the field and all I could think about was how we will be leaving this all behind... how this could be the last time we get to do this together. You know when they say growing up is hard they meant it. I know this is what we have to do to give our family the best life possible... but do we have to leave everyone else behind to do it... it sucks. I love my family and I do not want to leave them. I want to be able to go and get a little uniform for C-G to cheer on the boys and I want to be able to watch my kids play pop warner on the same leagues that my sisters and their boyfriends played on but that isn't going to happen. I want my kids to graduate from the same school that their Aunts/Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, and Parents all graduated from... I think leaving this town and our family will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and frankly I don't want to.

The good news though, we won 28 to 14! Good playing boys and girls, good push-ups!! Now for tomorrow, lets Go GATORS!!!


JG said...

Yes...I am so with you today...maybe for different reasons, but still. I think this would all be easier if we could control our emotions the way we can control the ceiling fan.

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