Cayleigh-Grace is 5 months old today!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Wow... has it really been five months since I pushed out my 10lb 7.8oz baby girl out... it doesn't seem like I am two months postpartum let alone five months postpartum. Things are so different this time around with her. For months after I had had Colin via induction I was left feeling empty and deeply missing those sweet baby movements that I felt while he was in my womb. It was really hard for me to deal with Colin's birth. When I asked to be induced with him it never really occurred to me that I would feel empty and robbed of my baby even though I was able to hold him earlier on the outside by being induced. In all actuality that is exactly what I felt like, I was able to hold him and love him in my arms, but my soul still yearned for him to be inside me kicking and moving around. It was like I had been robbed of my baby... I know it probably sounds very weird but this is exactly what I felt like. I did not feel that way with either Kiale or Cayleigh-Grace, who were both born on the days that they and God planned for them to be born on, I felt complete when they were born. It was a feeling of utter happiness, not a mix of utter happiness and of complete void and emptiness...

I am so happy with my decision to have Cayleigh-Grace at a freestanding birthing center, I believe that it has made all the difference in how I have done postpartum. Throughout my entire pregnancy with her I measured two weeks ahead, from the time they begin measuring your stomach at around 16weeks and on. Under the care of any normal OB I would have immediately been labeled macrosomic like I was with Colin and I would have had an induction date arranged for me not even knowing that I would have no problem birthing my "huge" baby girl. I have lost all faith in Ob's at this point... well maybe not all faith their are those situations where I believe that they are needed and where their care is advisable and warranted, but for me I don't think I will (if we ever have anymore children) ever go back to an obstetrician. My birth with Cayleigh-Grace was so peaceful, even though I totally wigged out when she was half way out... but I got through it thanks to my Mom (who by the way is an amazing birthing supporter, thanks Mom!! Love you!!), Mary Anne one of the most amazing midwives, and my wonderful husband who stood by my side and held my hand (even though I was cutting his with my nails... sorry honey!!) through it all. In my honest opinion if an OB hadn't wanted to induce me they probably would have wanted to give me a C-Section... which would have been ridiculous. When I gave birth to her I had NO problems, not a tare, rip, nothing!!! She was a perfect 40week delivery of a 100% healthy baby girl.

Don't you wish you could just rewind time and go back to those days where you are holding your sweet freshly squeezed newborn listening to all of those sweet newborn grunts and gurgles... That time is so special and means so much to me... God truly gives us such a blessing and a gift with every sweet and precious baby we are able to welcome into this world... my sweet baby by the way has learned to give kisses!! She will grab your face with both of her hands and plant a wonderful slobbery baby kiss right on you. Its wonderful.

Life itself is wonderful... we could not be more blessed. We have three beautiful healthy children, two amazing sons who surprise us day in and day out with how much they are growing and thriving in this chaotic world, and a daughter that is just starting out in this world...

I will her her 5 month pictures done for you to see tomorrow, I did not get a chance to do them today.

I figured I would add a few more pictures of Cayleigh-Grace's birth, these are of (in this order) my Mom, my Dad, Kiale, and Kiale's Mom at the birth center the day she was born. My children's BIRTHdays are such a special time in my life and are a time that I hold near and dear to my heart I just love having the opportunity to share them.


Tessa said...

wow she was 10lbs, my sister had a 9lb and i thought that was big to do natural. you had a water birth, that is so neat, we are wanting to have another baby next summer and iwas thinking about all the different ways and i am thinking about a water birth, cause i do not want any drugs during the labor or a epidural. happy 5months little one

Deidre C. said...

What a fantastic testament to the ability given to a women to birth a baby!! How incredible!!! Congrats on getting the birth you want!

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails